Mum has suggested I go on single Muslim dot com like I haven't tried enough marriage sites URGH you non Muslim peeps will have no idea just how sleazy some of these guys are, actually you might ok so collective shudder! At least they're only trying to date most of you girls but they want the marriage and babies with the likes of me (again ugh) but hay anything for a laugh I mean sometimes the chat up lines are quite funny for example one guy wrote how women were like flowers and he liked to smell the flowers?!? I kid you not! Or the time I went to Jordan and was told that a tall dark gorgeous man was coming to ask for my hand (granted this was from his sister) and that he would love me cos I was so nice but that I would need to lose weight (yes just what I said what can I say Arabs are very very blunt!) Well enter the man and guess what............shamou the whale lumbered in! Now don't think I'm fattist or something as the proud owner of some killer curves (literally, I could crush a man!) I'm not against big men infect I quite like a large guy however this guy was big and I NEEDED TO LOSE WEIGHT seriously I can see my toes (if I move my boobs out the way) this guy couldn't have seen anything in a two foot radius of his toes!
Then there was the guy who looked freakily like my dad but had a weird osama bin laden air, I'll explain I asked him if he could cook and clean he asked me what religious authors I liked and what school of Islam I followed ummmmm I'm a Muslim....... not enough ok I'm Sunni ......... I mean hello yes there are different levels of faith but dude try not to freak a girl out on the first meeting!
The closest I ever got to maybe getting married was oh let's call him Dr heart, not original I know but if you actually knew the whole story then you'd understand the nickname anyway he was yummy I mean girls.......YUMMY! But he wanted to date, now I'm Muslim, Muslims don't date that's why we have marriage sites not dating sites if I wanted to date I'd date and the guy would be from Ed or Glasgow you know somewhere close by not frigging middlesborough!!! Anyway we met a couple of times and the rules kinda are he should meet my dad you know so dad can make sure he's good enough for his little tyrant (me) and he can ask dads permission to marry me see simple, but nooooo Dr scaredy pants wasn't psychologically ready to meet daddy dearest - what? We're talking a full grown ass man here so I sent him back home even though he'd only just arrived. I then proceeded to burst into tears I vowed never to make such an ass of myself again cos truth be told I actually liked him but I know he wasn't the right one but I felt attractive for once, oh well sh@t happens.
After Dr heart there was a lull but I got talked into going to a Muslim conference by my mum and sister, now this was fun. Mum came with me for moral support but when we walked into a room full of Asians we thought we'd gotten lost but no we were in the right place. Now Arabs and Asians don't tend to inter marry and as I was a foot taller then the majority of the men there I kinda stuck out, yay for me! NOT! Any hoo long story short it was more like speed dating for Muslims bloody funny after the original shyness but to this day my family laugh at how only I could go to find a man and come away with girlfriends! We're still in touch a year later.
So still single, happily so don't go crying tears over me or anything but if it happens it happens and if not well I'm always here to listen to everyone elses man probs - it'll just make happier I don't have one :)
So yeah me and the opposite sex so not happening it's easier to get oil and water to mix!
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